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Start rewarding yourself and your family for achievements and accomplishments, not for destructive choices and habits and behaviors.
You may not be able to keep a son or daughter from destroying themselves, but you and the rest of your family don’t have to go with them.
Funds intended to benefit the grandchildren disappear without benefiting anyone. Though it takes toughness that’s hard to muster and support which is even harder to find, there are alternatives.
When you change how you deal with your adult children they too are forced to change.
You also know that continuing will never benefit your grandchildren. Instead, begin to plan ways to taper off the support in return for demonstrated progress in cleaning up – and be prepared to either take on the grandchildren yourself or allow someone else to. AA itself reports a 95% dropout rate in the first year, and most treatment is based on AA.
Make arrangements or contact Child Protection or both. Second, they can clean up if they are sufficiently motivated and the treatment mode is carefully chosen. Third, it really is okay to save yourself and the rest of your family. Remember that you don’t have to stay stuck in the insanity of the addicted child’s world.
You want to believe the promises, you succumb to the threats, or you cave in to the guilt that the blaming dredges up, no matter how real or ridiculous. So how do you go about doing what you know is right when everything seems stacked against you?
First, it’s necessary to keep in mind what you already know: your child will bleed you dry and out onto the street before they will stop exploiting you. Cut them off and they may in fact decide to die rather than clean up. have success rates of less than 10% over two years.